I had a fantastic Friday. My last class, Introduction to Statistics (read: math), got out early. I had lunch with a nice person I just met. I did about nothing during the afternoon, short of a little reading in a book for class (though I'm enjoying it). I went to dinner with my friend from lunch, plus a bunch of her friends. It was a lot of fun, too. I didn't know anybody, but hey, I was having a little bit of social fun. I got a little exercise in with a couple of the girls from the tenth. Later, I went shopping at Wal-Mart with a couple of friends from my hometown. Even that was fun and exciting. Then I went to No Shame theater on campus, which was plenty of fun. Not exactly clean, but still fun. I helped my roommate pack up some stuff and saw him off as he left back for our hometown. I had the room to myself. I went to bed at two in the morning, and slept until about ten. I showered off, had some breakfast in the room, and enjoyed my solitude. I even got to do some nice, relaxing cleaning. A couple of my friends from a nearby dorm came by, just to see what was going on. We ended up going to lunch at the Rialto dining center beside my dormitory tower. And then everything went to Hell.

 

I got back to the room, and tried to start on some homework for my oral communications class. I have to find eight sources at UNI's library. I tried Online: nothing. Circles and circles, finding nothing that I needed, not even a single magazine. So I thought... man, this is so frustrating, I want to destroy this stupid website. But! But... I could go down to the library, not far from the Towers where I live, and just do this in real space, and get things that way. I know libraries. No problem, right?

 

No. Problem. I wandered around the library. Stacks. Government documents section (I need the results of the 2000 U.S. population & housing census). Reference section. Periodicals. Not one lousy thing I needed could be found.

 

On top of this, I found myself absolutely terrified to ask anyone for help about anything. I know, I know, this is ridiculous, but you've got to believe me. The mere idea petrified me, made my chest seize up. So, I went back to the Internet, to look for sources on the library's website, while *in* the library (yeah, I know, ironic)... and you know what I got? Nothing.

 

All in all, trying to complete this oral communications homework (due Tuesday) has made me want to cry, and destroy things, not necessarily in that order. I was impotently pissed beyond my own comprehending. I have always believed myself to be a savvy, bookish library sort of person. And now I've been bitch-slapped by the UNI library and my own social terror.

 

Don't even ask me why my calculations for standard deviation of a data set aren't coming out right. I have no clue. I just know that I want to rip something apart.

 

I think I might have a touch of cyclothymia.