Room's all set up, computer is being healed, slowly but surely. The five hour meeting put a little cramp in my day, but I lived. Watched a fun movie afterwards over at Kara & Sarah's place.

 

There will be lots of things that I'll get to talk about, soon enough. I've been pretty psyched to get up here, so much that the night before I moved, I gave myself an awful case of nerves. That passed, though. No problem.

 

I know I piss and moan a lot, and I don't mean to irritate you, my dear and loyal readers. I don't mean to make anybody feel bad (unless I actually do mean to make somebody in particular feel bad, which isn't often), to upset you, or anythin like that. I feel that I'm a deep and complex person--as one-dimensional as I might seem on the outside--and so I have a lot to express.

 

So, tonight, I have something else to express. You can always navigate somewhere else, if you don't like it. But I always put these things up here, hoping that somebody out there, reading this, has that solution that I need. Wishful thinking, maybe, but on the other hand, there's an even chance that maybe it isn't.

 

It doesn't do any good for me to pontificate and second-guess myself, to work all the angles and try to out-think reality. The truth of the night is that I feel, once again, like something in my life is missing. This feeling is only sharpened by how kind and friendly people have been to me. Like trying to get that extra bit of reach that can't be achieved, it only serves to emphasize that mark that just can't be passed.

 

I'm just speaking to the darkness, though. Figuratively, at any rate. Like I said: all the thinking in the world only gets you so far. Yes, it might shock some people to hear me say that, but although I spend a lot of my life in thought, even I know it's not the end-all and be-all of existence--just a nice place to catch a break before reality catches up. Right now, I feel lonely, and dream of something to fix that loneliness.

 

Though, it seems like maybe I had better do my dreaming with my eyes shut, for tonight.