I'd like to think that all of you, my Vigilant Public, come here to see inside of my head, or keep up with what's going on in my life whilst you don't talk to me. So, as such, this post will pretty much be a random, stream-of-consciousness sort of ramble.

 

Foremost on my mind now is college. Supplies are being marshalled, iteneraries plotted, battle lines, in some cases, drawn. I want to think of it as a big adventure--which it will undoubtedly be--but there is a really dreadful something lurking behind there.

 

My latest talisman against negative thinking is the illustrious John Steinbeck's nonfiction Travels with Charley. Killer book. It's just so... wholesome, might I say. To date, I had only read his short story "The Pearl," and his classic Grapes of Wrath. But in the former, it was too foreign to get much of a feel for who *he* actually was, and in the latter, the setting was just a shade too old for me to really connect with it. Now, I really liked Grapes. No questions. But Travels with Charley... I mean, gosh, this is *good stuff.* Published in the very early sixties, I believe, and most likely written about material from the mid to late fifties (I confess to not having done my research, and in fact not even having the book in front of me as I write this... shame on me), this book is so *simple* to connect with--for me, that is. The man cracks jokes, for goodness sake. And they're *good.* I've smiled and even laughed at them, while reading. It's a great book, I highly recommend it. It's great for just getting a good, easy feeling about things.

 

But, back to the looming, ominous specter. We're getting our ducks in a row at my household, no doubt about that. But it's those damned jitters, you know? Up until the very *moment* something's pulled off, I have doubts. Hopefully people reading this identify with that, somewhat, or else I come off looking like a nervous freak. (Though my stomach acid has certainly been acting up for a while now... this comment defeats about the last couple or three sentences...)

 

I remain strong, Loyal Fans. Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no Evil. This is a little death, this fear I have... but I will not fear fear itself. This past... Mothers' Day, I think... I got my mother a refrigerator magnet that says, "Everything has its price, but if you worry about it, you pay double." I'm considering making myself a little sign like that to put up somewhere I'll see it.

 

Ended just after 1:00 AM, Sunday morning.