In college, I hear about plenty of people drinking. My roommate disappears for a day at a time, on a lot of weekends, and it's no secret what he's doing. The guys on my floor, good guys, guys I trust and whom I think are decent types, tell me stories at breakfast some days about being so smashed they couldn't see straight. Even really bright, intelligent people I know, people whom I think should know better, talk about getting drunk on a regular basis. I... well, if I might wax a bit emotional and whiny, I feel awfully alone in all this.

 

I don't like drinking. I don't hate it anymore, after thinking very hard about it and the people I know who drink. This year, I've been quite proud of some of my friends who drink. Not for drinking, obviously, but for the forethought and reduction of potential harm to themselves and others. This mainly goes out to one particular friend of mine, and I hope she knows who she is.

 

But the fact remains that I don't like drinking. It's not for me, and moreover, although I know that it's rude and nosy and several other undesirable adjectives, I don't like the idea of other people drinking. People are quite clearly been drinking for fun. That is to say, while I can tell between social drinking and drinking to get drunk, nobody's drinking because they feel that they have to. I don't see why a person needs alcohol to have fun. I mean, granted, maybe things seem funnier, or what have you, but... if some things aren't already funny, then maybe somebody needs to spend some effort instead of money, eh? Also, I guess that the chief argument in favor of drinking is "to relax." I'm wound tighter than a ten-day clock, and almost everybody knows that. But even I don't need alcohol to relax. I could use it, yes, but it's not imperative. There are other ways.

 

Basically, this all comes down to whether a person is for or against drinking, irrespective of empirical evidence, weighing the pros and cons, and sound scientific method. I start from the question, "Why should I drink," whereas other people start from the question, "Why shouldn't I?"

 

Given the enormous, gargantuan, and monolithic proportions of drinking around me, it's easy for me to begin to question if there's something wrong with me. I mean... I haven't really ever thought that I was in the right. At this very moment, I hate it that this stupid little detail of life is standing in the way of my identifying with so many people. But... I just can't bring myself to shrug it off, at least not all of the time. Some of the people I see drinking are some of the best friends of my life. They're not bad people, and I don't think that drinking makes you a bad person. But I'm confused about their motivation. That's what I can't identify with.

 

I don't want to drink, but I want to understand drinking. It's a sad thing that I forecast: one half or the other of the preceding sentence is going to have to give. If it's the first half, I follow the immortal platitude, "If you can't beat them, join them." And if it's the second... I shudder to think what happens when I lose the desire to understand something. I'd probably become even more judgemental than I am now, and that honestly scares me.

 

At any rate... writing this out has helped. Right this moment, I feel like it's really none of my business, telling people what to do, and that includes drinking. It's not my thing, and I don't have to hang around when people are drinking. But... at the same time, it would be nice to meet some people who don't drink. Who just... don't--because, like me, it's just not what they do. Not because they think they've got some kind of divine mandate. But... that's a whole other can of worms, mostly about the churchy kids and their God. Hah... I'm self-righteous, sometimes, but at least I don't throw the weight of a church around for leverage.