"Romance," for lack of a more concise word on my part, is a tricky thing. Everybody knows this. I haven't gotten to the part I really want to say. Yet.

 

I believe that good people are hard to find. Some people disagree with me. This is just a difference of opinion. I haven't gotten to the part I really want to say. Yet.

 

People play a lot of games and do a lot of posturing. Ultimately they do this to ensure their senses of safety and well-being. This is a lot of psychobabble. And I don't need to repeat that other line a second time. You know what I mean.

 

Making a real connection with someone else is difficult in different degrees, depending on the situation. Trying to connect with someone whose posturing and game-playing keep you away can be tough. Trying to connect with someone whose posturing and game-playing envelop you can be equally if not more difficult.

 

Some people just don't want anybody else around sometimes, and that's a fact.

 

Most people use other people for stability. It's important not to feel so alone. It makes us feel better.

 

People are confused beings. We're not pure good, we're not pure evil. Most of us are rarely certain what we are at any given instant. Adding another person to the mix is... well, I'm not given to math metaphors, but the confusion increases. Figuring out whether another person is acceptable is very tricky, for aforementioned reasons, and more. We compare them to ourselves. We compare them to other people. We compare them to hypothetical partners. We do this in the name of feeling better.

 

Some people do pretty well making the distinction of acceptability and are able to prune bad relationships and promote good ones. Some people, not so much. We blame ourselves for doing poorly at what is, simply, a magnificently difficult task.

 

It's a difficult task. That doesn't mean that it's pointless. For those of us who beat ourselves up, it also doesn't mean that any mistakes we might make are unforgivable. Churchill once said, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." It's an adage I like; that's the part I really wanted to say.

 

There's plenty to say on the subject of not giving up. Insert whichever one you'd like into this little wandering thought of mine. I just wanted to acknowledge how difficult and confusing this business of romance can be. I struggle with it, and I know a lot of other people who do, too. It's a huge part of our lives--it shouldn't be taken lightly, but it's important to prevent our seriousness from clouding the enjoyment that is the ultimate goal of our "great pursuit."